Wednesday, October 12, 2005

The Lie in the College Edition

1) I once saw James Brown at a gas station in South Carolina.
True. Spring break sophomore year, my friend and i drove to miami. on the way back, we stopped to get gas and pee. there's all these people milling about with jackets that say, "Security," and being the brilliant bulb that i sometimes can be, i thought to myself, "huh. must be some kind of security convention." my friend runs out and says, "there's a famous person here! i think it's...Rick James!" i say, "the superfreak guy?" she nods yes, and i crane my neck to view the limo next to our pump and the man walking towards it was none other than the godfather of soul himself, James Brown.

2) I broke my left pinky finger playing ultimate frisbee.
True. my friend threw the frisbee of death. it was headed straight for my face, and i put up my hand to block it from shattering my teeth. snapped my pinky right at the joint. this little incident earned me the moniker "Pissypinky." i couldn't type "A"s for a good long time.

3) I did a porpoise (streaked naked) in front of my entire school on D-Day.
False. my roommate did. a porpoise is when you are carried on your back, naked, squeezing a frisbee between your cleavage. D-Day is the Saturday before finals at my alma mater, a day when everyone gathers on the quad and gets rip-roaringly drunk. my roommate did the porpoise during the performance of the musical guests, The Jazz Mandolin Project (aka that guy from Phish). the lead singer actually made a statement about her to the concert organizer, saying, "The Jazz Mandolin Project would like to thank ****** for porpoising. It provided even more entertainment to them and added to the 'spirit of the day.' They don't want to thank her for allowing them to see her body, but rather they would like to thank her for being free enough, self-assured enough to do it. They loved her nonchalant air as she walked back from the bushes fully clothed afterward." and i was passed out in my room for the whole thing. but that is another story.

4) I hated one of my classes freshman year so much that I only attended 5 times, including exam days.
True. the year after i took the course, they changed my major so that it was no longer required. the ironic thing is that the professor of The Most Boring Class EVER is now one of the faculty in the department where I work. i have not mentioned to him that i took his class.

5) I made an art project about beer pong.
True. it was a multimedia presentation about the rules of beirut/beer pong. my professor loved it, and i got an A.

so that makes notscarlett the winner!


  1. Are you a UR undergrad? I went there (class of 00) and had lots of friends on the mens and womens Ultimate teams

  2. Are you a UR undergrad? I went there (class of 00) and had lots of friends on the mens and womens Ultimate teams



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